Treadmill thoughts

I feel like some sort of sadist, I keep re-visiting other people's hurts and play all the possibilities I can think of, over in my mind as to how something like that happened. They were the perfect couple it seemed, a really well loved couple that most if not every other couple looked up to. I know I did. They were eloquent, new, fun, creative and passionate to see miracles and live for God. Now they are a broken family, one with two children and the other with a strange re-wiring of his brain; how can one person do a total flip and then not even land in the asme place, but somewhere different to where he began? That's the only way I can get my head around it at the moment. And I don't even feel like I should be thinking or writing about this subject, I mean he was only a friend, but it has affected me so much and that is why I write, to purge all ideas and things from running treadmill like in my head (the point goes over and over in my brain but because I don't understand it, the thought goes nowhere and I end up covering the same ground over and over and over till I'm so tired of it that I will myself to forget but then confusion and curiosity rise up like unwanted cousins and pull me onto it again). I doubt I will ever get any clarity on the situation as I'm not likely to veer communicate with him again, and if I were to, I probaly would never broach the subject. But I feel in some way that I  bought into the franchise of what he was offering; a new experience with God on a relational level that was exciting. His passion and charisma were intoxicating and you could never get enough of what he was saying, I wanted to read every thought and musing and collect them all in a little bag for safe keeping. But when I look back now, how much of it was true? I mean to say that whatever he went through to get to the stage he is at now is a totally different place to where he began, and so was there any validity in his thoughts or musings? If there was no validity behind it, then the time and effort spent absorbing it becomes wasted and foul smelling. Forgive me for this crude outburst, but I am still trying, in vain to get it sorted into my own head how this happened, which I admitted before that I would probably never know, but I am an external thinker and I sometimes need to get it out there, even if no one else reads this, I think it will be a fairly beneficial exercise to complete. So there you go, selfish reasons! Anywhoo, back to the subject at hand. I feel that if I don't have an answer about it, then it will keep going round and round in my head with no resolution. I still don't know why he did it. Why would you leave something which was full of promise and hope and joy and love and future for something which has no joy but fleeting lustful bursts of satisfaction, no stability, no love, no future, no hope and no promise? Does he even realise these things? I hope and pray that he does. He has left all of this in an attempt to find himself, to be selfish? To be loved by many? To experience different partners in an attempt to find something that he already had, but was much better? For a person that was so intellectual surely this is a truly stupid thing to have done. But I am judging and that isn't right. I shouldn't judge. It really has taught me a lot about having role models, people who you think you can second guess their every move can sometimes really shock you. You sometimes get what you wish for; she wished always for true love which in my opinion can only come from God, and what happens? What she thought was true love was taken away from her. You would not want to ask and pray for that because as we know, if you ask for patience, God gives you a situation that you can be patient with (a trying situation) if you ask for more love, then He will often give us an unloving situation that will cause us to choose to love, etc etc, so you would never ask for true love... for the truest of loves comes from God and we are all sinful in comparrison, so we will never be able to experience true love unless it is from God; and so He might allow us to realise this through many ways and maybe that is what happened, everything was stripped away so that she could realise that her only true love was indeed from God.
But surely it was not fair to bring about a downfall for this to be made clear? Obviously I am not God so I have no idea the ultimate reason that this happened. I pray that I will be able to lay it down as it's clearly not healthy to be thinking about it as much as I do. This has helped me to be able to purge myself of thoughts, and its kind of helpful also that no one reads this as it is really judgmental. I'm sorry if anyone does indeed read it, and know of the people involved. I never wanted to be incriminating or point the finger at anyone, but I needed to get it out there.
Thanks for reading!