Lost in wonder, love and praise

I feel like God is in control ofmy present and therefore my future - I knew that all along, but I'm only re- surrendering the reigns of this wild horse to himself again. This week I've been reminded of past hurts, and I've had old wounds re-opened, but hopefuly to let them now heal and for my defence system to now be brought down so that I can think and feel as I used to and as I should. I really think that my poor memory (ask Craig about that!) is inextricably linked to the fact that in my past there are still some undealt with hurts, that have crept upon me this week. The ghosts of the past come back to haunt (or something cliched like that). And so I look into their face and say that I want my old mind back, the one that could remember well, and could conjure up words as if they were crowding and fighting to be heard. I miss them. I believe I am getting them back. I believe that God has given me the power of words to convey the things that He wants me to. Not in a way that I am not in control of what I say, I just give more thought to what God has to say through me (not that He cannot speak on His own and I don't ever want to be heretical), just trying to explain it all.

I want to be plugged into the life giving source of water and of my future and I want to know what God has got in store for myself. I know that it is far more than I could ever ask or imagine. I don't want to ever leave His side ever again. Please don't let me go. Never leave me. The words of this beautiful hymnal has come to me:

Love Divine, all loves excelling,
Joy of heav'n, to earth come down:
Fix in us thy humble dwelling,
All thy faithful mercies crown:

Jesus, thou art all compassion,
Pure, unbounded love thou art;
Visit us with thy salvation,
Enter ev'ry trembling heart.

Breathe, O breathe thy loving Spirit
Into ev'ry troubled breast;
Let us all in thee inherit,
Let us find the promised rest:

Take away the love of sinning;
Alpha and Omega be;
End of faith, as its Beginning,
Set our hearts at liberty.

Come, Almighty to deliver,
Let us all thy life receive;
Suddenly return, and never,
Never more thy temples leave.

Thee we would be always blessing,
Serve thee as thy hosts above,
Pray, and praise thee, without ceasing,
Glory in thy perfect love.

Finish, then, thy new creation;
Pure and spotless let us be:
Let us see thy great salvation
Perfectly restored in thee;

Changed from glory into glory,
Till in heav'n we take our place,
Till we cast our crowns before thee,
Lost in wonder, love and praise.