What with thinking about Keats and sentimentalism, the Romantics versus Reality and the Enlightenment; Darwinism and the Gothic, Shelley and his strange views about Coleridge's poem Christabel strange lesbionic vampires too! my head is getting very full of nonsense (some of it is anyway!) I feel like it needs a really good spring-clean!!! I have four books to read before the end of term(and two of them are BIG!) and I have four private study projects to hand in too!
I have done a presentation and was 2% off of a first, which really quite bugs me! because I worked really hard on it, and did enjoy it too! (which is weird for me; enjoying a presentation!)
I've also been having coffee with my friend who is also doing English, and also with the student worker who helps out in CU and is connected with a local church the other day, about including the bible, and theologians in a piece of work that I have to do. and I thought that that would help me in focussing my energies and head onto something concrete, but in a way it has opened up more possibilities, and also it is only 1500 words, and that isnt much when you want to say what I want to say!(please pray about that!)
Being in the library, writing my blog when I need to do copious amounts of reading and writing and thinking and stressing etc.... all at once isn't too helpful either, but I really felt that I just needed a rant, and a rave, and to be honest, I haven't written in the blog for a while, and so I thought I would treat myself by doing so!!!
Its amazing to think actually how much I went out last year compared to this year, and how much more work they pile on, and how they chuck you in at the deep end in the second year (maybe its because I've done two first years that I'm not used to doing a second year or something!) but its difficult! But i've accepted the challenge, thrown down the gauntlet, and yes, I have been slightly more organised tahn I was this time last year, and I have been working harder (because this year counts) but I haven't been enjoying uni life as much as I did last year, maybe I've grown out of the Chester NEW EXPERIENCE phase, and this is the time where as the saying goes the rubber hits the road, or whatever(!)
Also, trying to 'juggle' that with CU responsibilities (small group leading) and helping out at my church with the youth group, and Craig!!! I don't get much time to blog... or maybe I'm beginning to think its my own time-management!
phew! sorry if this doesn't make much sense at all, I need to go now anyway!
Thursday, November 24
Wednesday, November 9
Dare come to Aylesbury?!
http://www.aylesburytoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=789&ArticleID=1247778
Columnist David Edwards wrote: 'There are certain places probably you don't want to visit. Kabul, Baghdad, Aylesbury.'
I was quite amazed at the Herald's front page this wednesday... apparently this guy, wrote in the Daily Telegraph this statement... and it made me think is this a true representation and view of Aylesbury, apparently the guy that wrote this had only ever driven through, so what are we supposed to do, how are we supposed to take this? I mean being compared to the places that he does compare us to is so presumptious, and if thats only because of a recent event, then thats silly. If you actually read the article from the link, we're starting a stupid campaign with, 'captain aylesbury' to the 'rescue'? I mean do we need to be saved from this rather than the actual comment?!
Columnist David Edwards wrote: 'There are certain places probably you don't want to visit. Kabul, Baghdad, Aylesbury.'
I was quite amazed at the Herald's front page this wednesday... apparently this guy, wrote in the Daily Telegraph this statement... and it made me think is this a true representation and view of Aylesbury, apparently the guy that wrote this had only ever driven through, so what are we supposed to do, how are we supposed to take this? I mean being compared to the places that he does compare us to is so presumptious, and if thats only because of a recent event, then thats silly. If you actually read the article from the link, we're starting a stupid campaign with, 'captain aylesbury' to the 'rescue'? I mean do we need to be saved from this rather than the actual comment?!
Sunday, November 6
Being Thankful
I don't know why, but when I start spouting about something, other things come into my mind. I've had so little time recently to be able to take stock of whats happening, and to enjoy the ride that I'm on, rather than just be aware of what work I need to get done and what I need to do, and who I need to see etc... I really have felt that I've been lacking in appreciation recently. And I just wanted to stop. To be able to give thanks. It says in Phil4 v6&7:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (NKJV)
I had just simply forgot to thank God for the things, maybe thats why I haven't been feeling close to God. We looked at Peace in small groups the other day and this verse was talked about, it is a command, not a request, Paul realises that we will all feel anxious at one time or another, and it is therefore 'when' not 'if' we do feel anxious. And the thing about supplicating God by prayer is interesting...in the NIV it says petition which, to me makes more sense, in that whenever we get worried about anything, we can hand it over to God, and the amount of times we worry about one thing, is the amount of times that we can pray about it aswell. I once heard that meditation is similar to worrying, its just that we don't focus upon the negatives (worrying) but chew over a thought from the bible (meditating). I've kind of way gone off the subject that I was going to write about, but hey ho!
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (NKJV)
I had just simply forgot to thank God for the things, maybe thats why I haven't been feeling close to God. We looked at Peace in small groups the other day and this verse was talked about, it is a command, not a request, Paul realises that we will all feel anxious at one time or another, and it is therefore 'when' not 'if' we do feel anxious. And the thing about supplicating God by prayer is interesting...in the NIV it says petition which, to me makes more sense, in that whenever we get worried about anything, we can hand it over to God, and the amount of times we worry about one thing, is the amount of times that we can pray about it aswell. I once heard that meditation is similar to worrying, its just that we don't focus upon the negatives (worrying) but chew over a thought from the bible (meditating). I've kind of way gone off the subject that I was going to write about, but hey ho!
GBenfold
Having our old pastor preach at LABC this morning was quite surreal. I mean I didnt think that it would affect me as much as it did, into thinking about the past. When he spoke, with his familiar tone and style, it transported me back to the earlier years of my life and the things that have happened in that church. The friends I had made, and kept, or lost contact with for various reasons. His voice made me feel really at home, more at home that i've felt in a while. I suppose because it started me thinking nostalgically. His voice also sounded like it had never left LABC. It was like that 8 years of my life hadn't even existed fully. It wasn't strange at all to see him in the pulpit. The songs we sang were surprisingly new(!) ~his 'legacy' was still intact with the older generation, and he can now never put a finger, or never say a word out of line. I found this to be quite disturbing, as in the end, he's only a man. And you know what...I don't even think he recognised me! I mean he didn't really say anything to me, but then again I was always quite scared of him for some reason when I was little, so all the times when people have said that they've had really good conversations with him etc... I had never experienced that before. I remember being too scared to even tell him that i'd become a christian.
His sermon was encouraging, and yet it was on one verse in particular (Romans 14v17) and he spoke a fair bit about C.S Lewis which I enjoyed, and then he spoke about how becoming a christian is a joyful thing, and that your whole life would be filled with 'surprising joy' and it made me think of the times where as a young christian I thought I had failed in some way because I wasn't joyful all the time, it was quite misleading I thought for him to say something like that...bt anyways I didnt go to London Theology College. Then he spoke about Grace which was good, but there was so much that he seemed to have left out, and he wasn't as good as I remembered him to be.
I think it was a wake up call, especially to me, if no-one else, that we can't worship this guy, for, in the end he's just a guy, a guy that's been appointed by God to preach, yes, but its strange the affect that he's had on me. I subconsciously compare every teaching that I hear, with what he would say, or think or how he would put things, and this is so wrong.
I remember when I was at Northampton uni, I couldn't find a church there because I wasn't willing to try a new style of church, but now, at Chester, because I have been in the same church for a year now, and its so different to LABC, that if anyone knew what kind of church it was, then I would be afraid if they came to it, because you'd almost feel that there would be judging glances, made towards the style of worship,- the drums for example, and the raising of hands (which is in the bible) and the talking in tongues etc... I just feel a bit indoctrinated into the 'church traditions' and growing up to be wary of the Holy Spirit and Charismatic churches,(that c;eary didnt preach what was from the bible) I just feel that my growth has been stunted from this exerience, and i'm not blaming it to be the key issue here at all, but a part of me wishes that i'd grown up in a more freer church.
His sermon was encouraging, and yet it was on one verse in particular (Romans 14v17) and he spoke a fair bit about C.S Lewis which I enjoyed, and then he spoke about how becoming a christian is a joyful thing, and that your whole life would be filled with 'surprising joy' and it made me think of the times where as a young christian I thought I had failed in some way because I wasn't joyful all the time, it was quite misleading I thought for him to say something like that...bt anyways I didnt go to London Theology College. Then he spoke about Grace which was good, but there was so much that he seemed to have left out, and he wasn't as good as I remembered him to be.
I think it was a wake up call, especially to me, if no-one else, that we can't worship this guy, for, in the end he's just a guy, a guy that's been appointed by God to preach, yes, but its strange the affect that he's had on me. I subconsciously compare every teaching that I hear, with what he would say, or think or how he would put things, and this is so wrong.
I remember when I was at Northampton uni, I couldn't find a church there because I wasn't willing to try a new style of church, but now, at Chester, because I have been in the same church for a year now, and its so different to LABC, that if anyone knew what kind of church it was, then I would be afraid if they came to it, because you'd almost feel that there would be judging glances, made towards the style of worship,- the drums for example, and the raising of hands (which is in the bible) and the talking in tongues etc... I just feel a bit indoctrinated into the 'church traditions' and growing up to be wary of the Holy Spirit and Charismatic churches,(that c;eary didnt preach what was from the bible) I just feel that my growth has been stunted from this exerience, and i'm not blaming it to be the key issue here at all, but a part of me wishes that i'd grown up in a more freer church.
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