gleaning

you know you really shouldn't, you're parents told you to never eaves drop, but it can be the most amazingly hilarious experience of gleaning others conversations, I really feel it can stimulate your own imagination, I'm not being rude by gleaning, but it can give you ideas, ideas that are oxymoronically juxtaposed, so much so that you would never come up with it by yourself, your mind just doesnt work like that.

Gleaning also works with blogs (or should that be called skimming?) I think it's intriguing to walk into other people's lives, even if they're just words on a screen.

As a younger version of me, I was astonished by houses, as you walked down a long road, you are walking past different people's lives, which they seem to live in such small, confined spaces, I loved my job in the hospital because you could see how so many different people worked, and reacted to pain, discomfort (im not sadistic) and also happiness (at being let back home again!) there's so many emotions that were flying around at work, it was so intense that in a way you just began to absorb the differences; rather than question them and you yourself became a bit numbed to people passing away. That was the one thing that I could not stand in my job, people leaving us. Being there when someone took their last breath. You feel like someone who has intruded into a priviledge (?) reserved only for close loved ones of that person. I was annoyed that I wasnt that person for their comfort. ~So difficult. Learnt a lot though.

It's strange how my blog title was something totally different to what i'm talking about now, but I suppose sometimes its good to ramble, beacuse then you can truly sift off the mud out of your mind, and get to the grit, the thing that makes you tick, the incessant voice at the back of your mind which governs everything subconsciously, when that comes out, its a kind of shock, but something you have to say something you have to vent, even if to some it doesn't make sense.