When I'm older I may feel the freedom to say and write what I really think. Even though I know that this blog is not read by anyone other than me I don't want to take the risk of spilling out everything for a passer by to read. Not that I've got any huge secret to hide away from, but that my reputation is such that you shouldn't maybe divulge everything that you think/do/say/act! I think that this is a reaction to what I saw last night on television, it was entitled 'growing old disgracefully' and was about a 92 year old lady who was an editor who began writing in her eighties. One is never too old to begin something new! My Gran had help with her reading at the age of 60. She is someone who will always provide me with encouragement and certainty of this fact that no one is ever too old to try anything. She is dyslexic and can use a mobile telephone to text (she is now 82 and is no less amazing than when I was younger). At one time she was really keen on getting a laptop and going on the internet, but I think as my Aunt is less worried about technological advances (she has a mobile but it is never actually on!) that she has given up this hope of becoming a cyber granny or silver surfer! (I prefer the term cyber granny!) Now she is satisfied with owning and using a digital camera and printing out her own pictures. I don't know how often she uses her mobile phone now, but I suppose she turns it on to see whether she has any texts now and again. She takes art classes and sings in a choir and has the most active social life that someone of her age might want or need to have. She lives close by family and I bet she loves every minute of it, she is normally busy with her daily activities and if she's not out and about she is phoning and visiting friends. She is truly an inspiration and has been ever since I was small. She never fails to amaze me, the way that she is so independent but in a good way. The only thing is she will rarely buy anything for herself, if it's a treat that is, she is a saver and has been since she was little and brought up during the war.
I have just seen a job advertised in the newspaper to do with rehabilitating older people back into the community. I would love the opportunity to do this job, as I have a great affinity with the elderly, but feel that I will possibly need a car or some other form of transportation to get around.
Today also, I got offered two different jobs from the agencies that I have signed up to, they all seem keen to get me work which is really nice. I begin a three week receptionist/admin duty at a speical school in Leek which I will be able to get to on a bus hopefully (when Forrest recruitment send me a confirming email, which I hope will be soon!) I am really looking forward to it, I might even be able to get a few little numbers of new clothes to spice up my professional wardrobe, as it seems a bit sad at the moment.
I think if I could do any job in the world it would be a mixture, I would foster some kids, look after the elderly in some way, be a teaching assistant and an editor on the side, you never know, in this lifetime I may be able to do all 4 at some point!!! lol, I will keep you posted and updated on my progression, but at the moment things are looking good, and I am waiting to hear about a possibility at Blackfriars School as a SEN TA, so I hope to hear from them in a positive way soon.
Anyways, should really sign off now!
Wednesday, June 30
Friday, June 25
The Stokie Way
I feel like I'm getting the hang of living in Stoke now! I had the funnest bus ride I've ever had in my life, and I feel like after that I have been incorporated seamlessly into the fabric of life here and all that comes along with it!
So, your mother always told you to refuse sweets handed to you, well today I ignored that in the hope of making a new friend/acquaintance! As I was on the bus this loud charismatic character stepped on and in a shouting kind of voice spoke with all but me who was on the bus and seemed to know people quite intimately. I have come across some strange characters in the few weeks that we've been here, and this was definitely one to remember.
The whole bus was his soapbox and he would speak his mind, even if that meant to insult (almost) someone else's dress sense! Anywhoo, that's not the guy that offered me the sweet, he was sitting quite quietly in the back of the bus, well towards the back, just a seat or so in front of me, but on the other side, and he handed everyone on the bus a sweet, and then looking back towards me, I saw him think about offering me a sweet too, he had a big bag from the Longton Market, and it was open today and I've seen the mound of coloured sweets and toffees that you can get there. He had a big bag of sweets that would probably last him quite a while (that is if he didn't give everyone he met one each!) And as he reached out the bag to me I smiled, said thank you and took a green sherberty one, it was lovely! But the strange thing was that my mind went back to the times that my mother had told me to never take sweets from strangers, but as an adult I suppose you can make up your own mind, and I'm still here, there was nothing poisonous in it, or any ulterior motive than that he didn't want me to feel left out!
Also another thing that made the journey fun was that I had absolutely no idea where I was going, the bus driver was driving us down what seemed to be a long ride that had little to no bus stops actually around, but people were getting on and off the bus at different intervals, with no bus stop signs about! Then he drove down a beautiful piece of countryside, you know the one I mean where the roads are narrow and trees cover the road like gorgeous arches, where at times only dull greenish grey light would be able to filter through, the roads that awake your imagination and bring you back to all the good old fairy stories that you used to hear and then as you were old enough, to read. Anyway, there were also fields on either side, and the lush deep smell of the earth being baked on a hot June day, mixed with the smell of animals doing what animals do best (to me that is the smell that reminds me most of summer holidays at the Isle of Wight where we used to stay on our friends farm, in other words, lovely!) And then we came up to a place where I recognised the name, and then I realised that this was the unknown road that went past our own road and into a place where we had not yet ventured, it was so exciting being on a bus that took me so close to our house without even realising where we were going or whereabouts in Blythe we would end up! And I got to know what was on the other side of that road that we never go down, its full of lovely little country lanes and walks and farms and glorious smells and fields and the great outdoors!
I am pretty sad aren't I, writing a blog about a road, big whoop I hear you say, but as my life has turned the corner into this little cul-de-sac juncture, these things seem more poignant, and this is the stuff that makes me happy, being in the deep countryside, knowing that it is all around you and that the air you are breathing has no chemicals, or hardly any pollution in it form fumes form cars, and the stillness is touchable, you could sit there and thoughts would fly freely into your mind with little to no coercion, and you would be able to take yourself anywhere you wished. I only wish that I had a dog or something to take for walks now, and now I understand why there have been horses riding up and down our road, because of this beautiful little piece of land right near to us. It's so freeing to think of it!
I think that in my genes I have a longing to get back to nature, or greenery or fields etc, and that when I see them something awakens inside me and it brings me to a really joyful place.
Sad I know, but I don't care!!! :)
So, your mother always told you to refuse sweets handed to you, well today I ignored that in the hope of making a new friend/acquaintance! As I was on the bus this loud charismatic character stepped on and in a shouting kind of voice spoke with all but me who was on the bus and seemed to know people quite intimately. I have come across some strange characters in the few weeks that we've been here, and this was definitely one to remember.
The whole bus was his soapbox and he would speak his mind, even if that meant to insult (almost) someone else's dress sense! Anywhoo, that's not the guy that offered me the sweet, he was sitting quite quietly in the back of the bus, well towards the back, just a seat or so in front of me, but on the other side, and he handed everyone on the bus a sweet, and then looking back towards me, I saw him think about offering me a sweet too, he had a big bag from the Longton Market, and it was open today and I've seen the mound of coloured sweets and toffees that you can get there. He had a big bag of sweets that would probably last him quite a while (that is if he didn't give everyone he met one each!) And as he reached out the bag to me I smiled, said thank you and took a green sherberty one, it was lovely! But the strange thing was that my mind went back to the times that my mother had told me to never take sweets from strangers, but as an adult I suppose you can make up your own mind, and I'm still here, there was nothing poisonous in it, or any ulterior motive than that he didn't want me to feel left out!
Also another thing that made the journey fun was that I had absolutely no idea where I was going, the bus driver was driving us down what seemed to be a long ride that had little to no bus stops actually around, but people were getting on and off the bus at different intervals, with no bus stop signs about! Then he drove down a beautiful piece of countryside, you know the one I mean where the roads are narrow and trees cover the road like gorgeous arches, where at times only dull greenish grey light would be able to filter through, the roads that awake your imagination and bring you back to all the good old fairy stories that you used to hear and then as you were old enough, to read. Anyway, there were also fields on either side, and the lush deep smell of the earth being baked on a hot June day, mixed with the smell of animals doing what animals do best (to me that is the smell that reminds me most of summer holidays at the Isle of Wight where we used to stay on our friends farm, in other words, lovely!) And then we came up to a place where I recognised the name, and then I realised that this was the unknown road that went past our own road and into a place where we had not yet ventured, it was so exciting being on a bus that took me so close to our house without even realising where we were going or whereabouts in Blythe we would end up! And I got to know what was on the other side of that road that we never go down, its full of lovely little country lanes and walks and farms and glorious smells and fields and the great outdoors!
I am pretty sad aren't I, writing a blog about a road, big whoop I hear you say, but as my life has turned the corner into this little cul-de-sac juncture, these things seem more poignant, and this is the stuff that makes me happy, being in the deep countryside, knowing that it is all around you and that the air you are breathing has no chemicals, or hardly any pollution in it form fumes form cars, and the stillness is touchable, you could sit there and thoughts would fly freely into your mind with little to no coercion, and you would be able to take yourself anywhere you wished. I only wish that I had a dog or something to take for walks now, and now I understand why there have been horses riding up and down our road, because of this beautiful little piece of land right near to us. It's so freeing to think of it!
I think that in my genes I have a longing to get back to nature, or greenery or fields etc, and that when I see them something awakens inside me and it brings me to a really joyful place.
Sad I know, but I don't care!!! :)
Friday, June 11
born in the UK
Having been born in the UK I didn't think it was possible to get to a place where you would actually have a culture shock. Living in Stoke is goign to be so different than Chester, or even Aylesbury for that matter. To be honest, if I don't get a job soon I don't know how I'm going to survive, sounds a bit dramatic, but my own mental health is seriously diminishing. I need to do something productive with my time. I nearly got a panic attack just going into town today, that could have been for many reasons, but I'm sure that the job is playing a big factor in this. Also I feel alone in my decisions, Craig seems stressed out when I talk to him and our money situation isn't helping. It's just a major catalyst in this situation. He's not happy soemtimes and takes it out on me which I'm not taking. I don't know whether he knows he is doing this, but I will point it out to him, and not stand by while he blames me for things that are not my fault. grrrr
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