At the moment, I just feel spiritually lazy. I can't be motivated to do anything, and feel like I need a good kick up the backside from something to get me going again. At the start of my holiday (i've just had a ouple of weeks off) I thought that I would read a lot of the bible and do a lot of praying etc, but it all really went pear shaped. I feel as if i've been left shipwrecked in the faith, I feel all alone and lost. Can't find my way back because I have no strength left. I think I've took things too far with God's gifts. I know I want to get back to a relationship with Him, so thats good I suppose, its just having someone to be accountable to. Someone that I can talk to about spiritual things. I'm sure that those people are out there, but I just need to be motivated enough to get right with God again. Going to LABC really helped on Sunday, and I realised again that I need a church that will challenge me in Chester, and I don't get that at Northgate. But I really like it there. I should try another church though, which I will aim to on Sunday. I can't really blame it on the church though, it's my own fault for not making the time to spend with God. But sometimes you just feel too far to do anything about it, and then you can easily slip further and further away. I know that this is the Devil whispering words of doubt in my ears, but sometimes we just believe it, and don't question it, because at that time we are too weak to do so.
I know it sounds lame too, but being Valentines day and being on your own doesn't really help either. It makes you feel pants all day. I will probably go out tonight, but you never know whether that will make you feel justy as bad, if not worse than staying in on your own(!) It would be nice to get a few friends together who are single, and just stay in with them, watching a dvd or something.
Should be alright later on I suppose!!!
2 comments:
Mads....think GRACE! Don't let the devil tell you any of the crap he's telling you about guilt and stuff. just pick up your Bible and rely on the fact that God loves it when you come and chat to him. that's as simple as it gets. start to dig in a little and it will be slog again for a while but then it will start to come naturally again. just don't let guilt and fear drive you further away becuase it's not what GOd wants you to hear.
'let us then BOLDLY approach the throne of grace to find help in time of need.' When we approach God's throne to find hiom he ddoesn't sit there and grudingly say, ok, here you go, heres some forgivness and some grace. i knew you would stuff up. you always do. go on, off you go, i forgive you, just don't do it again.'
NO, we can approach bodly becuase he gives FREELY and loves it when we come. he's there with open arms and gives and gives and gives becuase he loves to. becuase when you are most satusfied in him, he is most glorified.
cool, thanks Bex. I would really value your prayers though too! :)
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