just when we all thought it couldn't get any worse!

Yes. the night of the party. We didnt expect that it would end up with someone getting arrested because of someone being 'bottled' by one of our housemates (who came later on in the year, and so we dont know too well, and kinda want rid of him now, cos he's unpredictable.) In a way, as its been talked about so much I don't want to go into details, and i'm glad that I wasnt there for the actual brawl, butt he aftermath that I saw was horrendous. Blood on the walls, on teh bannisters, and on the carpet in places. Other people's blood on the ones that tried to stop the fight, and a lot of people with bruises and cuts in the morning. This started from one small joke. What a petty thing. If the housemate that was involved knew my friend well enough then none of it would have happened. She was only joking when she first said get out of my house. He even joked back. But this other housemate saw it as threatening behaviour,and acted like a right fool. This is what drink does to people. It isnt big, clever or pretty. In the end the police came round and arrested the guy that was bottled. But not even the guy that did the bottling. I have seen the police handle a few things now, and to be honest I can't say that I have seen them do a good job. But at least they came to take the guy out of our house. No more parties for K.Lodge!

Disrespectful people

This morning after a night out; celebrating my friend's birthday, I came downstairs, and happened to look into the common room...now for all of you who havent been to where I live yet, the common room is a room with a friend's pool table in it, its a mini one, and we have a lot of fun playing on it. It also has lots of granny chairs, which are not very comfortable, but at least one is. We love chilling out in this room. And as I walked in, my eyes searched around the room, and no pool table. Yeah, I thought, maybe they've been super-organised and moved it because of the party we're going to have tonight in there. But then a sinking feeling came upon me, where was the pool table? I searched around the room again, and spied a handful of sawdust on the floor. I thought, thats not right...where could it be? I went into the kitchen to find one of my fellow housemates who happen to have a room near the common room. They told me that they had found the pool table earlier on this morning in a state of disrepair. They said that it had been broken in two, and the legs were splayed everywhere, with a nasty note on the floor and the chairs were heaped into an unruly pile in one corner. Now, we thought who would be so disrespectful in this house, we all use that room and we all love playing on the pool table. But then I remembered last night there were a lot of one person's (who I wont mention) 'friends' from the uni and from his home too. And they were making a lot of noise and generally being disruptive, matress surfing down the stairs, and using the punch bag that we have, and making a lot of noise. I'm not one to judge or point the finger, but there's clear evidence that it was these group of people. I just feel so annoyed that it happened to a really nice guy, who's going through a bit of a tough time at the moment, and nearly wasn't coming back to uni. He's not a person to give up. He's strong, but this has so not been on. He doesn't deserve this. He said this was one of the reasons that he didnt want to come back. Its such a shame that people have such a disrespect for other people's property. And yeah, they might have been drunk,but still, you know not to smash things to pieces, and then be coherent enough in mind to write a nasty note, and deface one of our fridges with a similar disregard. We're supposed to be having a party tonight, but a lot of people have said that they dont want to go anymore, because of this and what might happen. Its clearly war now. Its gone too far.

coming back to what you know

...take everything real slow

Now, that song lyric really describes me at the moment, I am coming back to reading the bible, very slowly. (I will prob fall flat on my face now, but hey!) I am also coming back to enjoying my course again. This week has just been a bit of a let down, we've had a weeks worth (except for today) of lectures and seminars on how to write essays (just so that they get everyone to the same standard etc) I thought I knew how to write an essay, and it's good to be re-told I suppopse and reminded, but it has also been a bit discouraging, as I got my lowest mark so far in the essays that I have just got back, I mean I still passed quite considerably, but I wasn't happy with my mark. I thoroughly enjoyed the seminar I just had, it was with my Head of English, and he's such a good lecturer, he makes things really interesting although they might seem really quite a boring subject at the start! (it was poetry... I struggle with poetry!) the way that this guy loves everything to do with English, really helps me to be fired up about it too (it doesnt take a lot to get me excited about English anyway!) It's not just a lve of reading, its a love of words, and meanings, a love of their origins and how they mean different things in different English speaking places, i.e. in America a bathroom is called a restroom, and silly things like that that tend to fascinate me. I then went to collect two more of my essays, and was really pleased with the marks. I know that I would love to get better marks, but its a start. I know where I'm going wrong now, and am seeking to write more fluidly and coherently! I am feeling a lot better than the other day (as you might have guessed!)
Onwards and upwards!

rubbish

At the moment, I just feel spiritually lazy. I can't be motivated to do anything, and feel like I need a good kick up the backside from something to get me going again. At the start of my holiday (i've just had a ouple of weeks off) I thought that I would read a lot of the bible and do a lot of praying etc, but it all really went pear shaped. I feel as if i've been left shipwrecked in the faith, I feel all alone and lost. Can't find my way back because I have no strength left. I think I've took things too far with God's gifts. I know I want to get back to a relationship with Him, so thats good I suppose, its just having someone to be accountable to. Someone that I can talk to about spiritual things. I'm sure that those people are out there, but I just need to be motivated enough to get right with God again. Going to LABC really helped on Sunday, and I realised again that I need a church that will challenge me in Chester, and I don't get that at Northgate. But I really like it there. I should try another church though, which I will aim to on Sunday. I can't really blame it on the church though, it's my own fault for not making the time to spend with God. But sometimes you just feel too far to do anything about it, and then you can easily slip further and further away. I know that this is the Devil whispering words of doubt in my ears, but sometimes we just believe it, and don't question it, because at that time we are too weak to do so.

I know it sounds lame too, but being Valentines day and being on your own doesn't really help either. It makes you feel pants all day. I will probably go out tonight, but you never know whether that will make you feel justy as bad, if not worse than staying in on your own(!) It would be nice to get a few friends together who are single, and just stay in with them, watching a dvd or something.
Should be alright later on I suppose!!!

The Cavern

Haunting music of a by-gone age mingles with furls of smoke. Then the crooners come onto that hallpwed stage, playing the old music that the original band once played. Amongst them were Queen, Eric Clapton and the Stones. Old rockers with trailing hair dance to the tribute band. Possibly they were here when the bands played in the sixties. The nostalgia suffocates our senses, in the forms of sound, smells, and seeing people re-living their childhoods. smaller children crowd round in awe, I wonder whether they appreciate where they are, what they're experiencing. Smoke unfurling like the forgotten memories of a past generation. Shadows are cast from the musicians on the stage, causing us to question their existence. Fans inscribe their names on the infamous walls hoping to be included somehow in their histories. Crude guitars strum along to the well-known tunes that once caressed the ears of listeners many moons ago. Accoustically astounding, the cavern being an astute name for it. We can only guess of what the place used to be before a club...maybe a merchants storehouse. We eventually have to leave, up some dirty, smelly dark steps into the clean fresh air. This underground time-capsule is overwhelming. My memories of being brought up on such musical talents as these help me to feel at home. Inspirational riffs allow me to create these words. People crowd the crudely lit cavern in search of comfort. If only we could have heard these bands whilst they were in their prime. I am almost envious of the walls that have been priviledged enough to be there, eavesdropping on astounding conversations, observing things we can only ever imagine.

househunting part 2

WOW, if anyone has ever said that househunting is easy, they are a bit misguided (or otherwise really lucky!) I have had a really stressful week, the first one since being in Chester when I just wanted to go home! At the start of the week it was all going really nicely, we had a group of us willing to share together, getting to know each other a bit more by going out and things, which was really nice. We started looking on the tuesday, and saw an amazing house that just felt right at the time, we were all really up for getting it, but then things happened, and the landlady seemed to be messing us around a bit by saying that we needed to pay an extortionate amount of deposit, £540 to be precise... without seeing a finalised contract. We were told not to hand any money over until having signed a contract first, so we were apprehensive, but willing to give her the benefit of the doubt cos of the amazing value of the house and what it had to offer. All the other houses we had seen seemed like boxes and sheds compared to this one. It really met everything that we wanted in a house, and was reasonable. Then one person wasn't sure about it, so he dropped out. And I felt weird about the house, I also felt like we were being a bit fleeced by the landlady (it was either that or that she didn't seem to know what she was doing, which could also have been true) It just wasn't sitting right with me. But everyone else seemed to be fine about it still. Then I pulled out, and left everyone in the lurch, which I know I shouldn't have done, (they're ok about it now, and respect the fact that I told them rather than not telling them at all and living there just because.) I also had been offered a room with a gorgeous house, from a friend from CU, who I get on with really well. So I thought that I would take that one instead. I mean, I don't know all of the people that I will be living with next year, like I would know all of the people that I wanted to live with...so it will be good to get to know them, but a bit scary too. The house is bargainous for what it is. And as the people will be moving out next year (cos they are in the second year now) I might be able to persuade some other people that I know better to move in with me in my final year. Who knows?!?
I know that my friendships with people have been tested this week, but hopefuly they will have been made stronger. I think that this will be the case. I did actually want to go home this week, or to Manchester but this has put things back a bit.