nice people

on 12th sept I blogged about polite people. Last night I encountered the true, pure, un-cheesy meaning of the word nice. I know as an English student the word nice is frowned upon as being too vague, too general, the word has been over-used and this has almost killed it's meaning. Now polite people and nice people are too different things. The person (I wont mention their name because they might read it!) helped me to get rid of my bitterness towards people being fake-nice. By this I mean that some people can be really nice, but only for a short period of time. Or other people can be really really nice at times (the sort of nice-ness that makes you feel a bit queasy and not really want to be around that person for too long-I dont know whether this is just how I feel or not) but you know the type, really overly nicey nicey. But as it is such a glossy nice-ness, (ie fake and not real) they cannot keep up this created persona, and they fall into their normal personalities. This person was nice in a real way. They werent just pretending, and it wasnt cheesy niceness, I dunno maybe i'm being too phillosophical about it all, but I truly never thought that anyone could be so nice without making it cringe-worthy. So how was it different? Well, I'm still trying to work that one out for myself. I suppose you have to be genuine in what you say, and consistent in what you do and the way you re-act to things. I don't know whether this can truly be learnt, but I know that God will help us to be nice and different to others around us. This may sound weird, but its the first time i've actually wanted to be nice, I mean it's the first time ive wanted that quality. Now the people that know me might think, well, Mads, she's a nice girl, but sometimes I have to think about how to be nice to someone. It doesnt come naturally, and maybe this is why when I say something nice to someone else, sometimes (not always) it can seem quite fake. As I say the words I want to cringe and think that when I say them, they are not being taken to heart as I dont truly mean what I say, i'm just trying to be nice. But I really believe that like I said before, if we are genuine in what we say, saying how we feel and meaning it all the time, then people will notice this difference in our lives, and we can point them to the maker who created this emotion. I'm in no way saying that people who arent christians are all nasty. By no means, some of the best people are not saved. but this is a way in which we can let them know we are different.
I believe that this is totally different to being polite too, because to me politeness is sometimes hidden under a layer of another emotion that might not be genuine, as in they might be trying to be polite but really hating themselves for being so polite. Hope that makes sense.
True nice people are really rare. I think I've only ever met about two in my life.
I feel priviledged to be friends with this person, and the way that they are teaching me (without realising) what it is to be genuine.

drunk and disorderly

I can't believe the amount of drunk people that I've randomly come into contact with by just being at Chester. Terry, my friend was walking me back home last night after CU and we saw this guy who looked quite rough around the edges, and he stopped and was talking to us. I mean he was in no way threatening, but it was just that I was tired and wanted to get back home. I guessed that he was talking to us for over half an hour, offering us various illegalities, and asking whether we would join him in a smoke. I started praying about a police car coming down the road. It did, but didnt stop (maybe I should have prayed for it to stop too!) This guy was quite paranoid, and just a bit weird, he started singing and at one point he was following us home, but we said that we needed to get back and that we were tired. This is not the first time that something like this has happened in Chester, I've experienced two other separate occasions, that things like this has happened. Once there were two guys in town that were drunk, and started talking to me (btw do I have a sign on my head saying stop, talk to me?!?) and asked whether I wanted a muppet I was like, what? and he brought out of his bag, a cheap puppet toy and said would I like it, I politely declined, but his friend said that he wanted it instead, so I was relieved at that! They then went on. Also another drunk guy was scaring me, but luckily someone came out of their house, and helped me. Don't get me wrong, Chester is safe (at times) but I suppose because it's near the biggest council estate in Europe; Blacon, you're bound to get some kind of backlash from that statistic. Anyway, all is well now. Just wanted to share my ramblings with you all!

small things

Less is definitely more. Something that maybe I should have realised a long time ago has come and hit me straight between the eyes. The amount of times I have stressed about helping people, and feeling guilty about not being able to help as much as I would like to... my friend broke up with her boyfriend of three years, and I sent her a text, and gave her a hug, and she said thanks for being so supportive. I didn't feel like I had done much at all, but she seemed to appreciate the fact that I cared, and that she knew that I would be willing for her to talk to me about anything. Also little things really make a difference. A smile, a little gesture of friendliness can be reciprocated in a grander gesture. For example, this week I bought someone a chocolate bar, to apologise for doing something stupid (not detrimental!) and they returned the gesture with a grander one- buying me breakfast today. which was really nice. It's not that I'm saying we should all do small gestures to get bigger ones in return, but that we should be open to small gestures of friendliness and kindness, and who knows what we will get in return, or if we get nothing, then at least we know we've done something nice for someone, and that they've appreciated it. I think that most of the time, I think about doing grand gestures, and things that are way out of actualy achieving them, but the smaller things, everyone can do. I know that some of you are reading this and thinking, how silly, I knew that ages ago, but seriously, I am a bit slow at understanding the simplest of things at times, and it takes me a hard llesson to learn that I cannot do everything I think I can. But this creates a positive out of a negative... we are not expected to do the things we can't do. We were created individually and uniquely to do the things that we were made to do. Its just now we have to find what we are good at, and go and do it! but at least we know that it will be something we really enjoy, because we were directly made for that reason and purpose.
Sometimes to say nothing, or little, is better than either doing a lot for someone, or just doing nothing at all. I think we need less stress and more achievable goals.

house hunting

Its that time of year, and as I have never done this before, its kind of exciting, but also quite scary. I have just given my last essay, so nothing to do now for three weeks! (I will be doing some kind of work, I promise!) So, more time can be spent on all important house hunting. I'm just a bit wary of landpeople trying to fleece us, by getting us to spend some extortionate amount for a pile of pooh house. I have seen some really nice houses, but others that I have seen I didn't like at all. The good thing (one of them!) about being at CU is that you get to know where the good houses are located. There are some real gorgeous ones on a road called whipcord lane (sounds a bit grim!) but I know that they are massive too, and we only want one with three bedrooms in it, so unfortunately thats out of the question. Hopefuly one of my good mates will get one of those :) so that I can go and visit quite a lot :) Anyways, any advice from those who have been in this situ before, will be very much appreciated! :)

< ,`.-.`, >< 21 >< ,`.-.`, >

Can't believe that the day has finally come when I'm 21! I feel kind of old, but its nice to be an actual age again (not like the nothing age of 20!-not yet 21, but not a teenager either!) My seminar group serenaded me this morning, which was really nice of them :) It was the last of that particular seminar, which I really enjoyed. I have no real big musings about being 21 other than, (someone reminded me) now I can legally drink if I go to America! (which doesn't thrill me in the slightest!) It should be good going out tonight, looking forward to it, i've also just handed in two of my four essays, so its all great. Still got another two to write, but they should be alright, the one that I was having slight trouble with has been handed in, and hopefuly I will pass that one! (I always foolishly worry) - foolishly not because I think that I should pass, but because it's unneccessary (sp?!)
Anyways on with the festivities! :D

you wanna be in my band?!

I cannot believe what delights this week has brought to me already, and I didnt ask for them, it just seems that my dreams have come true to a certain extent, I just can't believe my ears, when I heard that my friend Binks, was looking for a singer, to sing in his Christian band, and I said i'd give it a go, and he's said that I can be in his band!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it, I've always wanted to be singing, in a Christian band thing like this, I'm so chuffed about it. Also, another aquaintance is setting up a Chester uni newspaper for students, and has seen that I enjoy English, and havent just done the subject just cos I was good at it, and he wants me to write articles for it!!!! I was like yeah, thats so cool, go for it! These events occured on the same day, I am now in a band, and could start a career as a journalist, if i'm ok at it!!!!!!!!!! Ok, maybe i'm going slightly over the top, but i'm just really excited about it all. These are chances that I would have never received if I hadnt come here, and these are the things I've always wanted to do, i'm just a bit blown away by it all.
It will all be such a good experience. I will keep you all posted on what gigs I do, (they're mainly in manchester!) and articles etc... :)
This year is proving to be very fun at the moment, bring it on :D
I can't believe also that next week I'm gonna turn 21! I still feel like im about 18 anyways! (and act like it most of the time!) I totally agree with you Bex, that you think you're grown up when you're 18, but then the next three years really help you to understand that you're not grown up really.
Anyways, will keep you all up to date!

weird-ness

I've always found it a little annoying, how my brain works. I believe that it works best very early in the morning, from about 6-12am and then late at night, I am always quite lucid in the way that I write (or maybe it's cos I'm tired and I think i'm writing more expressively than normal) Or it could be because my brain is attempting to sift through all of the junk that i've put in my head today. I've always found it amazing the amount that some people dream. I absolutely love dreaming things, they're generally good (!) and sometimes I wake up in the morning thinking that if I could just remember all the details, I could make some money out of selling it as a book. In my dreams i've thought of the best jokes, and i've actually woken up laughing before, I've also written in my sleep, which you might think as funy, me being an English student ane everything, but I found it really strange. What I wrote didnt make much sense anyways! (The dream was focused around me going to the Queen's and being asked to write in her visitor's book!) But dreaming (getting back to what I was saying!) is the shifting of all the subconscious thoughts, like a clean out of your mind etc, I just think its a bit weird that these chemical cleaners take shape into stories and events that form themselves into dreams. Dreams can mean things too, i'm still not sure whether it's right to look into the meaning of dreams, but generally the things we dream about often sound very strange and unusual, but they are symbols of how we are feeling at the time. Like if you dream of a house, it is supposed to be how you view yourself, the outward appearance is very telling, also the state of the house inside is supposed to be the state of your inner mind or something like that. Are we as Christians supposed to look into dreams and their meanings, I mean sometimes (generally all or most of the time) I find it really helpful to understand what the dreams mean, as they can sometimes scare you, i.e. dreaming of a death, marriage or pregnancy! And in the bible God spoke to people using dreams, and these were Godly, righteous people, so is it wrong? I remember dreaming things as a child that have come true. I don't know whether you will believe me on this, but the ones that have come true are more grander de ja vou moments I suppose. It's just that within them the events happen exactly as you remember them, and also in the order that you do them, de ja vou moments are snippets in time, whereas when I dreamt of these things, they were longer periods of time, and the events that happened in them happened to the letter, whereas in de ja vou moments things can change, and outcomes that were thought can be changed. I am probably making no sense at all, but I've always wondered whether sometimes being able to see these things are something that is out of my control, something that I have been given maybe? I just wondered what you thought if anything? (this is to anyone who reads my blogs)

Yappy New Year

Hey y'all :O)
I thought that I would christen this new year, with a blog (although really it should have been a couple of days earlier!) I think my mind has caught up with where I am at the moment, which is a good thing!
I don't want to make any New Year's resolutions, because I never keep them(!) but I am going to make some aims, things that I would like to do this year. I think its quite a good idea to have something to aim for, if you don't succeed in doing so, you might attain something higher than if you'd have set no goals whatsoever!
I'm going to be quite busy this coming month, what with 21st's going on all over the place :D should be a good month too though, am really looking forward to it.