gleaning

you know you really shouldn't, you're parents told you to never eaves drop, but it can be the most amazingly hilarious experience of gleaning others conversations, I really feel it can stimulate your own imagination, I'm not being rude by gleaning, but it can give you ideas, ideas that are oxymoronically juxtaposed, so much so that you would never come up with it by yourself, your mind just doesnt work like that.

Gleaning also works with blogs (or should that be called skimming?) I think it's intriguing to walk into other people's lives, even if they're just words on a screen.

As a younger version of me, I was astonished by houses, as you walked down a long road, you are walking past different people's lives, which they seem to live in such small, confined spaces, I loved my job in the hospital because you could see how so many different people worked, and reacted to pain, discomfort (im not sadistic) and also happiness (at being let back home again!) there's so many emotions that were flying around at work, it was so intense that in a way you just began to absorb the differences; rather than question them and you yourself became a bit numbed to people passing away. That was the one thing that I could not stand in my job, people leaving us. Being there when someone took their last breath. You feel like someone who has intruded into a priviledge (?) reserved only for close loved ones of that person. I was annoyed that I wasnt that person for their comfort. ~So difficult. Learnt a lot though.

It's strange how my blog title was something totally different to what i'm talking about now, but I suppose sometimes its good to ramble, beacuse then you can truly sift off the mud out of your mind, and get to the grit, the thing that makes you tick, the incessant voice at the back of your mind which governs everything subconsciously, when that comes out, its a kind of shock, but something you have to say something you have to vent, even if to some it doesn't make sense.

time zones raah!

I was so chuffed with myself this morning, was meeting someone at 10, and I set my alarm for 9:15 (ish) and rushed around to get ready in time, I managed it with time to spare and was quite impressed with my time management! I walked all the way down to uni, to wait for my friend to walk to church with, waited til 10, thought it was a bit odd that she wasnt there, so I sent her a text message, then I looked at the report and it said 9:01 I was like ohhhhh! duh!- so I thought, oh, i'll go into the library, but no, doesnt open til 12! so I trecked all the way back to my room, and had some much needed breakfast!
Was slightly annoyed, but then again I spose I will get the hour back tomorrow as my body clock will still be quite messed up!!! hee hee

Why didn't anyone let me know?!?!
- love you all
!
x

Respecting the blog!

I suppose I should write after not writing since the start of this month, hopefuly when I get the net access in my room, this will become a more frequent thing!
Last night made me realise just how soon we put our trust in people we dont fully know. I had a practical joke played on me by a fellow member of my CU (not detrimental but annoying) I just couldnt believe that he's done it, but then I suppose like I said, we dont know these people, and our first impressions are generally moulded into something new, so its never good to judge upon them, but we all inherently do.
I then sat up til 3 am talking with one of my friends about this and a lot of other things, about life in general and boyfriends and things, and it really did help.
Thing is, none of it seemed out of character for that person, I just didnt expect it, so I wasnt ready for him to have a laugh at my expense...I suppose we learn from these things and can laugh about them myself in time to come (I enjoy a good laugh dont get me wrong!)
I suppose I better go, i'm in need of a good strong hot chocolate! and some food of some kind! :)
x

regrets and promises

naive-freda
todays advice, that I didnt take myself:
don't read old emails. they just tend to dredge up old feelings that you had forgotten, maybe deliberately or accidentally, but nevertheless, not wanting to re-live. I suppose everyone should keep their inboxes reasonably tidy(!)
I suppose in life there are sometimes too many regrets to mention, but then again there are so many new opportunities too, and they might inevitably pass you by if you don't pursue them, or can't see them for lack of insight and experience.
But I will make some promises, to be ambitious in my degree, always aiming higher (!) (if I can!) and getting the best possible result, whilst socialising a fair bit too! In hindsight (from previous promises made) these tend not to work, but I will endeavour to do this.
writing this after my first seminar of my degree, I suppose i'm still a bit excited about the course and havent got much work to do yet, so it seems ok, and i'm feeling quite positive but come december when i've got loads of work to hand in i'm sure I won't be so philosophical!
I've just had a seminar on sentence structures so i'm majorly analyzing my own, and they're not good!!!!!!!!!!! :) but hey ho! I'm sure I will learn!

Keep smiling :D