Expectations and things

I've always found life somewhat confusing, I mean I think mine came out back to front really. The expectations that people have (par exemple, teachers) are foccussed on what your parents expect from you, but my parents didn't really expect anything from me (academically), and in some ways this was liberating, in many other ways, it encroached on support issues (generally feeling a great lack of ) especially in things like higher education, and I think I have aimed to rebel against this and just show them and myself what I am capable of achieving. Whereas my Gran has always encouraged me to go that bit further, study that bit harder reach that expectation in a fuller way, and to this day I don't know whether the things I have achieved are from me rebellling, or being encouraged by my Gran. Maybe it's been neither influence, and I don't really know what I want it to be either!