School visit today!

Today I went to a lovely little primary school which totally intimidated me primarily because the standards and achievemtn ratings were so high. As we were waiting to get shown around the school we were inadvertently listening in to a year 6 class practising a performance of Oliver! and it sounded great. The children seem to love this school so much which is the best way to gauge whether a school is good or not. The head seemed lovely as she showed us around. Although as I was in a group with NQT's, she wasn't overly interested in me, and it seemed like she was abit offish with me. Maybe it was because I was dressed like a teacher and not a teaching assistant (I really need some smart clothes but not formal ones.) I should have worn something different today and if I could have changed that, I definitely would have. But anyway, I don't know whether I make a good first impression. I tend to sit back and take in all the information and whilst I do this I can look a bit serious, but I am just absorbing all of the info and I shouldn't be judged on that. I was trying to look smiley and ok with everything though! But one other thing that did not seem to go in my favour, the child that needs 1-1 support was not very receptive towards us as a group, and the headteacher wanted to see how I interacted with him (which was no interaction) but as I read in the application form they will offer training relating to ADHD which will help!!!

It is just 20 minutes from the place that we are going to move into, and although it is not full time (20 hours a week) and not a permanent position, I think it would be a brilliant chance to learn and get thrown in the deep end! (I might regret saying this!)

Signing off now! Will let you know what happens, if anything! x

I wont be afraid, for Jesus you are with me holding me close.

Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for His name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You annoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Oh Lord, my God, how majestic is your name in all the earth, at your Name the earth trembles and demons flee. At your Name captives are freed, those who have grown cold will suddenly feel warm and come back to you. Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your Name in all the earth.

You will lead me beside these still waters, restoring my soul. You will personally see to it that our soul is refreshed, our humanity is once again given to us so that we can see the things that get in our way, ostacles such as stress, and overcome them.

We will lack nothing. Nothing at all. We gain everything. 'I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever'. Things are temporary, what matters is eternal.

Lord, please help me to have this perspective on my current situation. I would really value a job that I would love to do (i.e. teaching assisting) but if you have something better in mind that I have not thought of or even considered, then may it be your will. It would be great to know!

Who am I to judge?

Curiosity has got the better of me recently, I have been nosily trying to dissect something that I didn't truly understand (and didn't want to fall into the same pitfall trap as someone I know) but after looking and trying to look for reasons, and then finding the reason and being overwhelmingly shocked about it, I have decided that the best thing to do is to leave well and good alone. I don't know whether it was the best thing to do in heinsight to look for the reason as it has done nothing for me (not that it should have) but I realise now that I am more naive than I thought.

I admired someone who has totally turned their back on everything they once believed in. I am not going to pretend to even understand this, how someone can do a 360 degree turn and come to a different point and leave something that was so good behind. I say 360 instead of 180 because it was such a turn that it needed more than that to underline that own fact.
All I can think is that someone needs a bit of help, and by that I mean psych help. But as my ittle suggests, I am not one to judge, I can just offer my own musings as to why. I thought before that finding out would help me to lay the situation to bed, it will take time to do this as it just wont sleep just yet. I just wanted to apologise really, for thinking things and thinking I know better.

Ode to our home

Our little house has served us well,
But little was it's name and  

How we need a bit more space
To build and love our bigger place

But we will not forget our home
The place we forged our married life

We will remember with fair fondness
And we with longing longness miss Chester.

Pretty please?

I could actually really do with a job please, I don't know how else to ask, I've prayed for it specifically, we've prayed together, do we need to pray more? Do I need to pray alone? Does it need to eat so much into our savings that it's not even funny anymore?! I don't know what else to do/where else to go? All of the options seem to be out of reach, there are lots of jobs going in Cardiff but none-few going in SOT, what is up with that? Please can I have a job so I do not go totally insane!? I am doing things this week, but when I go to SOT I need a permanent job with something that I would enjoy doing.

curtains and washing machines

So, we went to see the houses last night and what shall I say; the first one wrong location, new build, quirky rooms (which I like) good view, no washing machine though or curtains! Our second viewing was in a gorgeous place, really nice views with lots of greenery around, but the house was a wee bit small. There was a glass wall as well which was a bit gross. It was too much for what they were asking per month though, and no washing machine or curtains again (what is it with washing machines and curtains!?)
We have a lovely viewing up for tonight, which I can't make as I am at work till 6pm, but Craig is looking around and then hopefuly I will be able to have a look on thursday. It does look good in the photos, nice bay windows, good garden at the front, small garden at the back but big enough for entertaining and having a BBQ :O) I hope that the rooms are big enough and they do indeed have curtains in place and a washing machine!
Apparently the house is in a nice area, hopefuly close to amenities and schools that I could potentially work at.
Will let you know how it goes!

Househunting part 1

This has become my therapy at the moment, to be able to write a 'diary' form of what's going on is helping a little, but sometimes I suppose it can be counter-productive, it can hi-light how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking and this can be a bit destructive. It can also magnify situations and make them grow so they become quite overwhelming, because my writing is so important to me it is quite powerful too!

Myself and Craig are going to be looking around some properties today in Stoke, and we're looking forward to seeing some of our choices, we've actually come across a bit of a bargain that has just been added to the website, and it looks really nice. Only thing is that we are not really in a good position to negotiate the price as we have noted our interest quickly. But still if we can get it for that price, it has a garden (yay!) and a lovely amount of bedrooms, it will just be so great to have some more space! and to be able to have people over (and maybe even a housewarming party!) :O)
The only minor problem is that I have no real job prospects there. I mean I am signed onto an agency but they are taking their sweet time in finding me any work! We shall see what happens and I'll probably blog later on in the week as to what is going on with our househunting escapades!

Anonymous

Misses an old friend who inspired me so much and helped me through a rough patch in my faith. He was not just inspirational, he was a great role model (his relationship with Jesus was so real and accessible - by that I mean he didn't pretend to be something else other than a human being faltering through life but holding on to God, because nothing else matters).

I would chat with him about science and physics and he would get so passionate about those things which was really refreshing to hear about and chat about too. Now, he is incommunicado, non-contactable, 'lost' in our hi-tech big brother style lives, it's quite a feat I suppose!

Something happened that really shocked me, and rocked my faith too, and that is why I have to be so cagey about who he actually is (and I don't even know what happened) but it must have been bad. That's all I know.I hope he's ok and that his faith is still strong.

Naive? Me?

I knew I chose the blog name for a reason...

Sometimes I can be too gullible for my own good, or trusting, whatever you want to call it, that's what I have just been. So, I thought that we would be headed to Cardiff, but it turns out that that is just a vague pipe dream, and not the firmest of realities which I thought it was before. We are still waiting to hear back from this dude about the job, but in all honesty so many people would have gone for it, so the chances of actually getting this job is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'm not saying its impossible, but it's highly implausible.
But I'm not doing too badly at the moment, I'm coming around to the idea of living in Stoke. I spoke to a close friend and she helped me to get my head around it :O)

Signing off now...