Heaven (Hillsongs united live)
I need Your Love
Like the desert needs the rain
I need Your touch
Like the fire needs the flame
One moment without You near
Is heartache I cannot bear
A lifetime with You O Lord
Is Heaven I long to Know
Heaven
Come cover me
Like the ocean meets the shore
Shine on my life
Like the morning steals
The night
This has got to be my favourite song ever I think. Its got such simple words, but they have a real impact upon me.
I've found something really special at uni, God has been listening to my prayers and longings and he has given me what I've been wanting. I didn't expect to find it at uni, but there you go, I suppose you find it when you're not looking particularly. I've learnt so much, how it is so much easier than I realised. God doesn't make it difficult when we are able to lay everything in His hands, and trust that he has got the best for us. I mean, that in one sense was difficult but I have finally learned how to sacrifice my dreams~ only to be handed them! I am so thankful, and full of praise. You might know (or guess!) what I'm on about, I don't want to be explicit, but I felt like I had to blog about it and if you don't then I will tell you, but not on this!- sorry!!! :)
Suffice to say I am very happy!
Tuesday, March 22
Tuesday, March 15
Ready to go now
Although I love Chester, and could see myself living here after finishing my course, I really just want to go home now. Just to have a few creature comforts such as my own, big room, and my own bed and my own things all around me with my family. I don't get homesick really, never have felt it, but now I just want to go home. Good job that its coming up to the easter break really! I dont know what I will be doing for three weeks, but I'm sure I will be able to find things to do.
This term has been interesting. I have forged closer friendships with some people, and yet others seem to be getting further away. I should really have spent more time with these friendships, but there's going to be two more years of being able to do that.
I have chosen my modules for next year now, and I will be looking at Utopia's and Dystopia's in Brave New Worlds- which is kind of looking at science fiction novels, like 1984 and things like that. I will also be studying comparative literature which looks at translations of famous literature from different countries, this should widen my horizons a bit, as we only study English authors and poets etc... at the moment. I will also be studying the Gothic which is literature like Frankenstein and Dr. Faustus. Finally I will be looking at Tragedy. I am really looking forward to doing Brave New Worlds module, as I find that really interesting. The good thing about doing single English is that we get the priviledge of choosing 3 elective modules, whereas combined honours students only get 1 choice.
I always seem to get a bit philosophical at the end of the term, considering how things have changed, what has happened how I might have changed. I mean my work load has been increased, and my spare time (or lack of) has been more valuably used. (I hope!) Although it has been a short term - I only feel like i've just got back from Christmas really. I can't believe how quickly its gone. The summer term should last a bit longer, as there are more weeks there. I am so looking forward to the summer when I can read outside, and do my quietimes outside too- we have a kind of balcony that joins the two sides of the house on both floors- I'm looking forward to the time where I will be able to read there. :) Hopefuly it wont be too cold! I always said that Chester is warmer than Aylesbury and someone confirmed why it was the other week, apparently its because the Welsh Mountains shield us from the bad weather, or something like that (Daniel- you can help me out on this one!) They act as a kind of insulator. Whereas comparatively flat Aylesbury gets blown around like a hat on a breezy day (what a rubbish analogy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Anyways, should try and get some sleep, I am finding that the less sleep I have, the less I seem to need. This is not good, and I am finding that I am beginning to become a bit of an insomniac... prayer would be most grateful about this!
This term has been interesting. I have forged closer friendships with some people, and yet others seem to be getting further away. I should really have spent more time with these friendships, but there's going to be two more years of being able to do that.
I have chosen my modules for next year now, and I will be looking at Utopia's and Dystopia's in Brave New Worlds- which is kind of looking at science fiction novels, like 1984 and things like that. I will also be studying comparative literature which looks at translations of famous literature from different countries, this should widen my horizons a bit, as we only study English authors and poets etc... at the moment. I will also be studying the Gothic which is literature like Frankenstein and Dr. Faustus. Finally I will be looking at Tragedy. I am really looking forward to doing Brave New Worlds module, as I find that really interesting. The good thing about doing single English is that we get the priviledge of choosing 3 elective modules, whereas combined honours students only get 1 choice.
I always seem to get a bit philosophical at the end of the term, considering how things have changed, what has happened how I might have changed. I mean my work load has been increased, and my spare time (or lack of) has been more valuably used. (I hope!) Although it has been a short term - I only feel like i've just got back from Christmas really. I can't believe how quickly its gone. The summer term should last a bit longer, as there are more weeks there. I am so looking forward to the summer when I can read outside, and do my quietimes outside too- we have a kind of balcony that joins the two sides of the house on both floors- I'm looking forward to the time where I will be able to read there. :) Hopefuly it wont be too cold! I always said that Chester is warmer than Aylesbury and someone confirmed why it was the other week, apparently its because the Welsh Mountains shield us from the bad weather, or something like that (Daniel- you can help me out on this one!) They act as a kind of insulator. Whereas comparatively flat Aylesbury gets blown around like a hat on a breezy day (what a rubbish analogy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Anyways, should try and get some sleep, I am finding that the less sleep I have, the less I seem to need. This is not good, and I am finding that I am beginning to become a bit of an insomniac... prayer would be most grateful about this!
Sunday, March 13
You give & take away
I really do wonder how God works at blessing us... If I use an analogy it might help me to understand/ explain this better. I will liken it to a present. Say if we start to open the present at the wrong time then will God just take the present away from us, or will he help us to see that we had gone wrong, but let us have it still anyway? Or will the surprise be ruined, so that he is upset with us, and we feel bad about it. I don't know.
I know that God is full or mercy and grace and that he gives us everything we need and desire (if they are right desires) when we need them, 'at just the right time.' So it could be argued that even if we do mess up by opening the present beforehand, or peeking at it, or even trying to guess whats inside it that it was God's timing for us to do that? I really struggle with this. Also with how much we should be asking and thinking about this, as who can know God's mind? Maybe I should just let go of trying to understand it all, and just accept his blessings? But surely there's a difference to the 'value' of a blessing (go with me on this one for a moment) as to how we accept it, and how we respond to it. If we respond in thankfulness then surely that is what God desires from us, but what if, like spoilt children, we run off into the corner and start enjoying our present, or even playing with it for a little while, or just getting bored with it, or not even like it.
Are there any good recommendations of things to read etc... on the nature of blessings? I would also value your comments on this.
I know that God is full or mercy and grace and that he gives us everything we need and desire (if they are right desires) when we need them, 'at just the right time.' So it could be argued that even if we do mess up by opening the present beforehand, or peeking at it, or even trying to guess whats inside it that it was God's timing for us to do that? I really struggle with this. Also with how much we should be asking and thinking about this, as who can know God's mind? Maybe I should just let go of trying to understand it all, and just accept his blessings? But surely there's a difference to the 'value' of a blessing (go with me on this one for a moment) as to how we accept it, and how we respond to it. If we respond in thankfulness then surely that is what God desires from us, but what if, like spoilt children, we run off into the corner and start enjoying our present, or even playing with it for a little while, or just getting bored with it, or not even like it.
Are there any good recommendations of things to read etc... on the nature of blessings? I would also value your comments on this.
Sunday, March 6
gently does it
I am so in awe of God. Not only is the timing spot on, but the way in which he coaxes us back to him, so lovingly, so that we know that we have done wrong by going astray for so long, but not too bad so that we dont feel guilty about coming to him and asking his help, cos he is so willing to give it to us. I love it.
'More than all I want, More than all I need You are enough for me. More than all I know More than all I can see You are more than enough.'
He is more than we will ever need, and so much more than we will ever want. I can't understand the immense blessing that he gives us, by us just knowing Him. How amazing is the God we serve? He fills us in every way. Leaving no stone unturned, he wants the very best and doesnt even need to seek to give it to us, he just gives it to us. How great is the God we adore? I've had such a mixed week of good things and not so good things, things which I have been ashamed of, and things that I've wanted to shout out about. What an amazing God, who can take all of my rubbish- ness and turn it into something good. I don't want to sound trite in any way, and I understand that at the moment everyone's not going through a great time, but I just cant keep my feelings inside anymore. 'What a wonderful maker, what a wonderful saviour. Howmajestic your whispers, how humble your love' (Chris Tomlin) How amazing and so true are those lyrics? Sorry if I seem to be rambling without having a real point... well the point is obvious, just glorifying God by making much of what he's been doing in my life.
I will wait to see what God has got in store for me in the next installment of the God & Maddy story! :) And I dont want that to sound blasphemous, I understand that God is not our 'buddy' He is to be taken seriously, and to be feared. But we can call him Abba. And that is enough.
'More than all I want, More than all I need You are enough for me. More than all I know More than all I can see You are more than enough.'
He is more than we will ever need, and so much more than we will ever want. I can't understand the immense blessing that he gives us, by us just knowing Him. How amazing is the God we serve? He fills us in every way. Leaving no stone unturned, he wants the very best and doesnt even need to seek to give it to us, he just gives it to us. How great is the God we adore? I've had such a mixed week of good things and not so good things, things which I have been ashamed of, and things that I've wanted to shout out about. What an amazing God, who can take all of my rubbish- ness and turn it into something good. I don't want to sound trite in any way, and I understand that at the moment everyone's not going through a great time, but I just cant keep my feelings inside anymore. 'What a wonderful maker, what a wonderful saviour. Howmajestic your whispers, how humble your love' (Chris Tomlin) How amazing and so true are those lyrics? Sorry if I seem to be rambling without having a real point... well the point is obvious, just glorifying God by making much of what he's been doing in my life.
I will wait to see what God has got in store for me in the next installment of the God & Maddy story! :) And I dont want that to sound blasphemous, I understand that God is not our 'buddy' He is to be taken seriously, and to be feared. But we can call him Abba. And that is enough.
Wednesday, March 2
Truly Blessed
Its really cool how God answers prayer. Just at the right time. When we're ready, (but sometimes don't realise it) and when we've been asking for something good, he gives it to us. I know this is really basic, and I knew it before, but its just amazing when it actually happens to you. Take for example CU. I have been asking God what my gifts are that he's given me, and then the president asks me if I could take over a small group. I said yeah, I'd give that a go. Not fully understanding the amazing-ness of God's timing. The fact that I had been praying about using my gifts, and trying something new. I have just finished my second week of it, and am really enjoying it. God keeps blessing me with new ideas, and new ways to make it different each week. People are being really supportive and I think I have a gifting in it. I really feel God helping me, and it's really been a blessing to come to Chester and to be used by God. One of the biggest reasons I wanted to come to uni was to get back to a close relationship with God, as it has gone down the pan a bit from last year etc... and this has just been such a blessing, and also finding a church that encourages me, and helps is just really cool too. I have so many good christian friends here who are so supportive and loving. It blows me away sometimes, well nearly all the time, how much I have changed since being here. Just with the little things as well as the big thing of moving away, and studying again. I can't believe how quick time seems to be going too. Its March already. When I see God working it reminds me that I am in the place where He wants me to be.
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